An experience

 एक, साक्षात्कार ऐसा भी  ,

21st Dec. 2019

मेरी डायरी के कुछ पन्ने ।

ऐसा लगता है कल ही की बात है,कुछ दिनों से थकान सी महसूस हो रही थी ,काम करने का मन ही नहीं करता था,और उसपर अगर घर में मैहमान हों तो आप समझ सकते हैं क्या  हालत होती है।घर में कुछ न बनाकर सब बाजार से मंगा लिया,सब लोग खाने बैठे और मैं मन नहीं कर रहा कह कर बिस्तर पर लेट गई।नींद न जाने कब आ गई।जब डेढ़ दो घंटे तक मैं उठी नहीं तो (मैं कभी दिन में सोना तो दूर,लेटती भी नहीं हूं )घर में खलबली मची कि क्या हो गया ।

कोई ताकत के लिए ओआर एस पिलाने की कोशिश कर रहा है तो कोई कुछ और खिलाने की कोशिश ,कि मुझे ताकत आ जाए और उठ जाऊं।आधे होश में मुझे अचानक ऐसा लगा कि सब बाहर आ जाएगा और मैं नींद या यूं कहिए कि आधी बेहोशी में वाश बेसिन की तरफ जाने लगी और फिर उबकाई करने के बाद वही गिर गई ।घर के लोगों ने उठाने की नाकाम कोशिश की। मेरे हाथ पैर ढीले हो चुके थे। किसी तरह उठाकर मुझे पलंग पर लाकर लिटा दिया गया।और ऐम्बुलैन्स को बुलाया गया मुझे अस्पताल पहुंचाने के लिए।

ये बता दूं कि मुझे पूरा होश नहीं था हांथ पैर ढीले हो चुके थे आंख ऐसे बंद थी मानों मैं बन्द आंखों से ही देखती हूं, परन्तु इस परिस्थिति में भी मुझे बीच-बीच में कुछ हल्का एहसास हो जाता था।

अचानक मुझे लगा मुझे किसी चीज के साथ बांधा जा रहा है।फिर ऐसा एहसास हुआ कि हमें कहीं ले जाया जा रहा है दिमाग में ख्याल आया कि पता नहीं घर ठीक से बंद किया या नहीं और तुरंत मंबोला ,"सामान सौ बरस का ,पल की खबर नहीं " और मन मुस्कराने लगा । फिर मन में भाव आया कि भगवान से रक्षा की गुहार करूं तभी मन के एक कोने से ये आवाज़ आई,क्या  मैं ऐसी ही शांत मृत्यु नहीं चाहती थी,और फिर मन पूर्णतः शान्त हो गया ।मेरी ये यात्रा कितनी देर चली मालुम नहीं। कुछ शब्द कानों में सुनाई पड़े। "आंखें खोलिए, कोशिश करिए ।"

जब आंखें खोली तो मैं अस्पताल के एक बिस्तर पर लेटी हुई थी और मेरे सामने यम देवता और उनके गणों के स्थान पर डाक्टर और उनके सहयोगी खड़े मुझसे सवाल कर रहे थे ।

मेरे इष्ट देव ,

जय बाबा केदारनाथ 🙏

चंदृमा और जिंदगी

कोमल सुंदर और क्षींर्ण चंद्र,मानो किसी नव शिशु का जन्म ।नवीन चंद्र और नव शिशु पर सभी बलिहारी जाते हैं ।

एक शिशु की भांति चांद भी तेजी से बढ़ता है और हम उसकी सुंदरता पर बलिहारी जाते हैं जिस तरह  युवा होते बच्चे पर मां बाप बलिहारी जाते हैं।

फिर आते हैं बादल ,चांद के साथ आंख मिचौली खेलते, कभी उसके चारों ओर घूम कर उसकी सुंदरता बढ़ाते और कभी उसको अपने में छुपा लेते ।ऐसे ही एक बच्चे  को अपनी परिपक्वता पाते पाते बहुत सी कठनाइयों से गुजरना पड़ता है ।

फिर आता है पूर्ण चंद्र चारों ओर अपनी छटा बिखेरता ।उसको निहार निहार कर जी नहीं भरता।जिस तरह मां बाप अपने बच्चे की सफलता पर फूले नहीं समाते । चारों ओर उसका गुनगान करते फिरते हैं

और अंत में आती है अमावस्या। चांद को पूर्ण रूप से निगल जाती है।यही चक्र हमारी जिंदगी का भी है ।

चांद की एकादशी तो फिर आती है, परन्तु इंसान की नहींं।

हां , फिर कोई चांद किसी रूप में फिर किसी के घर निकलता है ।

जीवन चक्र तो यूं ही चलता है ।

Ek Ahsas.
  Sone times something gappe na so suddenly,that you get puzzled and at the end you feel that it was God's own will. and thats the Ahsaas,कि" हम केवल कठपुतली हैं, नचाने वाला तो वह है "। This changes the whole concept of life.
I would like to share one true incident of my life.
I am scared of hills and water bodies like river ocean.May be I am darpok., though I have travelled a lot and enjoyed shipping boating and visits to hill stations..
 Let me tell you the incident. As I said I am scared of heights.,in 2013 my younger sister,with whom I have visited many places and enjoyed the company,asked me to accompany her to to Kedarnath,becaus b she had to complete her visits to all 12  jyotirlings as this was the last one ,and said to get ready in three four days .First reaction of my family was that it's dangerous trip.,how only you two will go,and you are so scared of height. They were right ,I was scared and was trying to find some excuse to avoid the trip. I was very pzzeled,what to do ,I knew my sis . Is depending on me and she had to complete her Mantri in this limited time.I kept thinking in mind how to avoid the trip ,and one day passed,then suddenly next day my mind wad full of आत्मग्लानि ,that iam so selfish,iam finding excuses to not to go when she is only depending on me.Then I started analysing,why am I so scared,worst to worst ,what will happen,I will die,so what ,if my death is destined no one can stop it.and miracle happened i said yes for the trip.You will be  surprised that even my family didn't object.Everyone agreed without any hesitation.
Both of us started our journey and the luck favoured ,we got reservation on train then got taxi hoti Datta and from their Helicopter,without any waste of time.I was overwhelmed with the natural beauty throughout my journey and enjoyed the most.Helicoptor ride was my first experience and was wonderful. We reached Kedarnath in the day time and while de boarding the Helicopter I was hypnotised by the beauty of the place,I could only utter स्वर्ग .
But,how can everything be so smooth,ad by my previous experiences ,I had to face one or the other problem. Just after de boarding the Copter my sister developed acute breathing problem, and we had to search the hotel for stay. Here I would like to mention that Google is a blessing,while preparing for the journey I just went through the details about Kedarnath and it's journey,so I knew we may have this problem so I kept  medicine arbitrate a life saving drug with me for my sister ad she can't walk much.
 Some how we managed for the Hotel and she nearly collapsed on the bed due to senior headache and acute breathlessness.I immidiaimme gave her medicine and let her rest till next day morning.Morning came with new hope and happiness,she was Ok.and we had beautiful Darshan.and got ready for our return.The only thing we could not do was sightseeing,as if we had only one point program. I wanted to stay there for one more day but couldn't.. We came back to Delhi safe and sound and full of enthusisme.
And the very next day the whole world got upside down .Nature has created havoc the  place where we stayed we shopped all were gone as if I have  seen everything in my dream,nothing was left.I couldn't believe my eyes.
And I fealt,Why God sent me there and bought me back safe
.एहसास- God wanted to save my sister who is like daughter to me ,so He sent me with her and on the other hand He wanted me also to be safe ,so brought me early.
जाको राखे साँइयाँ ,मार सके न कोय।

HE always listens

I have noticed that whenever i am very keen to visit some place,something or the other problem will popup and spoil my whole enthusiasm,and i will go with sad or bad mood.
       Few days back the same thing happened.I was very exited to go to a party and meet some of my favourite people.As ussual ,just in the nic of the time it so happened that the whole enthusiasm washed off .I got so hurt that i went to my poojaghar and started blaming God in anger that why HE has to do all this to me.Why cant i be happy for somrtime and enjoy things from my heart.After grumbling for sometime i started for the party wiht long face and distress.
        BUT,to my luck i had best of the time of my life.I enjoyed and enjoyed and came back home with lots of exitement happiness and loads of memories.
     While on bed i was just reviewing ,how i went with a sad long face and came back with a face glowing with happiness,warmth,affection and the entertaiment i got there.
     I realised it was HIS miracle,and a big smile came to my face
.HE is so generouss HE cannot see his disciples in pain or distress. HE is always there to confort them.
               Thats why HE is GOD
                                  GOD Tusi Great Ho

communication

Communication is 'the most important' for our lives.It helps making relations,developing personality and to make life successful.
    Relations are based on our behaviour whether its your family , relatives or friends.Communication influences our behaviour.Its usually seen ,people,with  whom we communicate regularly are more close to us. Its a way which bonds us together. Relations become more strong because communication leaves no space for misunderstandings.We can clearfy any thing that is troubling ourselves, on the other hand if we dont then the problem deepens and the time comes when our relations break,and may become enemy.Phone call, letter writing are good and easy ways of communication,its not necessary to meet everyone all the time.One can share feelings,concerns, etc. on phone,write a letter,chat on skype.Thousand ways are there,one should have the will to do. Communication is the only and the best way to understand each other.It leaves no space for misconception.
      Surprisingly communication tones our personality indirectly.As it helps in knowing people around us, enables us to choose our company and make good friends. Good company influences our personality.Its an old saying 'a man is known by the company he keeps' .
        Communication helps us in gaining knowledge about different fields of life.  Communication in any form- makes us aware and helps in leading our lives in better way and fulfilling our goals of life.Thus makes us successful in life  

PRAYER

In our difficult days we pray to GOD please help.When our wish is fulfilled we thank GOD and think HE is great ,he listens to our prayers,HE can do whatever HE wants, any miracle.Ofcours HE does.It is HE whome we can trust and depend upon.
    But when our wish is not fulfilled or uncertainty prevails, we become impatient,start loosing faith,console ourselves by saying its destiny.Now this is the question?
       If every thing is destind,then why we ask for favers from HIM.
         Actually it is very confusing.Its difficult to understand.When every thing is destined then why should we pray? But, then whome should we depend upon?Who will help us in our bad days?If we will depend on destiny,then we will stop making efforts and become lazy.Thats not fair.
      We should believe in Karm .We should do our part and leave the rest on HIM. But when we are in trouble whome should we look upon?Who will help us?We are like small children we cannot survive without HIS help. Someone has truely said,
                               " Someone asked GOD                                      If everything is already written in destiny then why should we wish for something?"
           GOD smiled and said,"Maybe in few places I have written,
                           "As you wish"
 So the jist is we shouldnot forget HIM, HE is always there for us.But big 'but' prevails,when?
     Do your bit and leave everything on HIM.HE is the best judge.
                         Have faith in HIM
                              "THE GOD"
                                                   We believe in YOU

   

birthday

Its not an important occasion anymore.Old age doesent allow you to enjoy,specially when you are sadistic persone.
I had good time on my b.day i would thank my whole family for that.I am specially thankful to my grandson who made it a point to keep me cheerful throughout the day.
CHILDREN  have thepower to creat magic in ones life .God bless them.